In the spring of 2021, when Pearl was about five months old, I was nominated by my midwife group to participate in the Lullaby Project, which originated at Carnegie Hall and now has satellite programs all over the world. It pairs pregnant people and new parents who have faced challenges with professional songwriters to create a personal lullaby for their babies.
Writing, recording and performing Pearl’s song was healing and empowering. I was able to pour my heart into the music in a way I hadn’t before. It was for my daughter, and for me, and no one else. There was no self doubt, no comparison to anyone else, and no imposter syndrome. While recording the song, I experienced an embodiment that I hadn’t often felt while playing music before. I was out of my head and in my body, truly present in a way that had previously eluded me. I was able to connect with myself as a musician and with the music, and the experience set me on a path to seek that embodiment and connection in all of my music practice.
About the lyrics:
When I was pregnant with Pearl, I had a lot of anxiety. I'd had a miscarriage before getting pregnant with Pearl, and I was constantly worried about losing another pregnancy. To manage my anxiety, I found a pregnancy meditation that ended up helping me so much. Part of the meditation was to picture yourself putting out a trail of lights, guiding your baby to you. It's hard to explain, but that helped so much, and it was an image I really held onto when I was feeling worried. My songwriter, Laura, crafted this image into the beautiful words of the first verse.
The chorus refers to Pearl's name: Pearl - precious; Evelyn - desired child, wished for; Audrey - noble & strong.
The second verse is about when i first held her; and the bridge is about the future.
Here's Pearl's Song. It was created with the immense support and encouragement of Laura Reznek, who wrote the music, and supported me in finding the right words. It was recorded at HippoSonic Recording Studio in Vancouver with the support of Laura Barron of Instruments of Change, and produced by Jeremiah Gowen at HippoSonic. I hope you love it as much as I do.
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